Deeply hurt inside

jika air mata itu bisa berbicara. nescaya ia berkata. tidak puas2 lagikah dirimu membiarkan diriku mengalir. dan tika itu jawapanku hanya satu. tiada pilihan bagiku. hanya dirimu yang terus setia menemaniku.
#deeplyhurtinside #onlyHEknowsthetruth #makemestrongYaALLAH

Feel grateful

Sometimes there are times that unintentionally, without realizing i have asked Him

Why He do this to me? For what i have done why i still cant get what i want.

Why others can get but not me? Why He kept testing me?

Why the world so unfair to me?

I know itz hurt. Itz hurt me as well.

Without me myself realize i do a cruel sin.

I didnt accept qada' and qadar written by Him

How sinfull person i am.

Forgive me ya Allah.

I've kept repeating my mistake.

Even i know You already promise

He will give me the best. Not the best that i want, but the best that i should get

I teach myself, to be positive.

I tell myself that Allah have better plan for me,

I trust it because i have seen it.

I have seen a person. Who are for me is a very hardworking and amazing person

Which in my mind either i cant be like that person

But, unfortuntely that person didnt get what that person want..

I'm shocked. I'm feel to low. Why? I didnt do as much as that person did but i get what i want

Without other persons realizing, i kept trace about that person

What happened to that person after that.

Yeah. That person never give up. Becase that person trust on fate! That person will get what that person want. Maybe not now but later.

After few years, i feel like want to know what happened to that person.

Alhamdulillah, finally that person success. 

Success that maybe none of us will predict that person will finally success

Not in term of very successful yet but success.

Itz enough right? Why u should asked more if little is already enough?

Trust Him. Accept what He give now. Never give up. And always. Always. Think positive.

Doesnt mean that He didnt answer u now, He will not answer u forever,

Doesnt mean He didnt give what u want today, He will not give it to u forever,

He will. If itz good for u, but He wouldnt if it is bad for u. But trust Him. He will give better things for u as a replacement. 

So, for what reasons u must complaining 1001 things to Him? 

Feel grateful. Be thankful. The life that He give to us already are meaningful and priceless.

And without realizing, actually we already asked too much from Him.

So, its a good thing right if we can find some time to say 'Alhamdullilah' to him rather than complaining and blaming to Him? 

"Amount"

as a human. as a normal human there always be a time when we did not satisfied with what we have we start complaining about 1001 stuffs in our life. feeling that what we get is the lowest. the other persons is better n from that we start blaming. to all people around us. and sometimes to HIM
then. what should we do? be GRATEFUL ALLAH already give everything to us. but maybe not in the way that we want not in the portion that we ask but, still the "amount" will be the same how about us? did we give HIM the same "amount" HE should get from us? ask ourself. answer ourself.
Ya ALLAH, ikhlaskan hatiku. tetapkan imanku. tetapkan niatku. disebalik doa, keikhlasanlah yang ku pohon kerana ku tahu. tiap langkahkah, tiap ibadahku, tiap amalanku. tanpa keikhlasan, ibarat mencurah air ke daun keladi. tiada kesannya. di hatiku. di tempat Mu dan aku tetap berada di tempat sama. bantu aku ya ALLAH. bantu mereka ya ALLAH. sesungguhnya tiap langkahku selalunya mereka akan meninggalkan kesan agar diriku bertambah baik dari sehari ke sehari. jadikan aku dia n mereka. hamba-hambaMu yang senantiasa bersyukur agar tiap langkah, ibadah n amalan kami senantiasa mendapat redha Mu ya ALLAH..

i'm soo sorry

complicated feelings of mine, that is who i am. kadang2 betul dalam percakapan kita kena hati2. sebab tanpa sedar adakalnya ia melukai walaupun ia bukanlah niat di hati. for those who involved.
i'm so sorry.. even how much i wish i did not hurt anybody, but still i kept repeating my mistake. i'm so sorry when without me n myself realize i kept make people touched n hurt with what i'm doing. but please. understand me. as a human sometimes i cant help it. my emotions controlled myself more than i can controlled it. i'm so sorry.. sometimes i make decision without thinking because maybe thinking too much make it more difficult. i'm so sorry when sometime i do something that is no one can predicted. but trust me, most of the time my decisions. my steps. my choices. i have another reasons behind it. for what reasons i'm doing it. which sometimes i cant tell what is it which sometimes i did not want to put too much hope on it n which sometimes i just like making surprise.
rasa sedih n syahdu bila fikir tadi dah kelas terakhir.  kelas terakhir untuk degree bpharm ni n mungkin kelas terakhir sampai bila2 la kot. master? not in my mind for now. sweetness, sourness, bitterness n etc during these 4 years. teach me a lot. which maybe become the best memories in my life.
u dont need 1000 pictures in ur hand to remember all the memories when u already have 1 in ur heart.
with love: iza_raskitar 22 may 2014

Things i want to ask

if there are something that i can ask for. 2 things that i need: 1. please do not treat me like someone else different. treat me like who i am. i am the same person, yesterday today n insyaALLAH tomorrow. so, please do not treat me like this 2. please do not be there for me. be there with me. it will be different. i dont need people to be there for something. i just need people to be there with me, so that we can do something together. 
#finalsem #finalyear #bpharm #usm #studentslifeendsoon

Medicine?me?no?

Yesss. I am the laziest person when it comes to take the medicine. (Wlaupun rasa macam banyak benda lagi aku malas). Pharmacist ke tak itu belakang kira.. Gituuu..

I hate to take the medicine. Thats the fact. It was a good thing when people can 'force' me to take it without me willing to do that. (Sebab kadang2 memang dah sakit yang tak tertahan tu, atau takut makin teruk)

Even my parents will choose to see me take the medicine in front of them because they absolutely do not trust me when it comes about taking the medicine. Haha!!!

Please do not feel weird why i am choosing this course even me myself was the worse person with compliance. Pandai nasihat, buat takkk,,, gagaga

I have tried!

i tried. seriously i tried. even i felt that its useless. nothing different. nothing changes. but most important things i have tried right? *tears falling down* ya ALLAH.. for now.for this time. i think this is one of my biggest challenge that u have given to me. even i do not know what will happen in future. i just want one thing ya ALLAH.. everything will be 'easier' for me.. even itz actually hurt and breaks my heart soo much. deep inside.
"HE never promise that life would be easy, but HE promise to go through with you. in every steps in my life"
akan tiba satu masa nanti,kita cuba melihat kehadapan. memberi harapan pada diri sendiri. memberi keyakinan pada diri sendiri. meskipun terdapat seribu rintangan yang melanda. masih terdapat satu jalan yang bebas dr rintangan meskipun satu dunia memandang sebaliknya masih terdapat seseorang yang memandang kebenarannya.
ya ALLAH jika benar kata2 itu pengungkap rasa berikan aku kekuatan untuk mencari kata2 itu. agar dapat aku bisikkan apakah sebenarnya yang terjadi tetapi aku tau ya ALLAH.. meski sehebat mana kata2 itu meski seindah mana puisi itu. tiada satu pun dapat mengungkap apakah sebenarnya yang terungkap hati
KAU memahami ya ALLAH KAU Maha Mengetahui. sedikit masa saja lagi ya ALLAH. kuatkan aku.. jadikan hatiku cekal secekal hati yang pernah KAU pinjamkan dahulu agar aku tidah jatuh sebelum ke garisan penamat.
:( :( :(

The eyes. The secret.

Allah knows u r tired. Allah knows itz difficult. But always remember that He will never put u in the situation that u can't handle.

Yes, i know. In what situation i realize. Itz a reason behind why i was put into that situation.

I'm afraid that sometimes without me realize, the words doesnt come into my mind anymore.

For this past few years. For all the pain. For all the sickness.

I try to keep it inside my heart. 

I learned how to 'lie' about my feelings.

I tell myself to smile even the heart is crying. Even myself was suffering.

I make it diificult to anyone to read me.

Even to see the pain inside my eyes

But i know sometimes i failed.

Eyes has the amazing powers. It can tell u the secret that u want to hide it tightly

And also it cant lie sometimes.

Even u learn to be a good liar.

Dear eyes.

Please for this time, help me.

Now. U learn to prevent me from telling lies to the others

Even how struggle i am to kept the secret. To hide the true story.

Please for this time. Help me,

Help me so that nobody will see..

The truth. The pain, the sadness. 

That we, together have successfully hidden it for a long. Time.

a picture. a memory

one day u will be surprise how amazing a picture can be in future. in our life tak tau kenapa, rasa makin sedih bila nak habis u ni. nak keluar u ni, sedangkan sebelum ni tak sabar sangat nak habis degreee. nak habiskan kepenatan, ke'tension'nan dan yang sewaktu dengannya. tapi sekarang entah kenapa, bila tengok gambar2 bersama balik, rasa sangat sebak. sebak sebab mungkin kita tak jumpa orang yang sebaik mereka itu sebab sebab mungkin memori yang terlukis tidak seindah memori itu sebak sebab mungkin rasa sayang antara sahabat itu tidak sekuat itu
sekarang berfikir betapa cepatnya masa berlalu. seakan-akan hanya baru kerdipan mata pertama berlaku  imbasan hari pertama selalu bermain. mula2 interview. mula2 orientasi. mula2 kenal senior. mula2 kenal pensyarah. mula2 kenal pharmacy. n sekarang. tak lama lagi. bakal berakhir. rindu. sayang. sebak. macam tu la kot, perasaan sekarang. betul la orang kata kita hanya akan menghargai sesuatu bila kita kehilangannya. tapi sekarang ni belum hilang dah sebak apa cerita? *blurry face*
i know one day when i saw our pictures again, together, i will cried. i 'hate' this feelings. the feelings when i feel too close with someone. because i know one day they will leave me, in any situation, i 'hate' this feelings the feelings when people around take a good care about me because i know one day i will need their 'care' to move on, to wake up back i 'hate' this feelings the feelings when i love people around me because one day i know i will miss them more than i ever thought.
but deep inside my heart, i know all the feelings that i 'hate' is somehow the feelings that make my life colorful. make my day more meaningful. n i know the 'great pictures' inside my heart with them was created with those feelings.  thank you. deep inside my heart. for being a part of my 'great pictures'
*smile with tears*
#bpharm #memories #finalsem #finalyear #willendsoon #gonnamissthemomories #gonnamissthem 

She is my twin. =)

my delayed post. i decided to post or write something about person around me as their birthday present. somehow, my 'busy' time avoid me to do it.  i supposed to post another 'story; today but since i have another delayed 'story', so we will settle it one by one.  i want to write everything. i'm afraid one day, i will forget the 'sweetness' itz not that i will forget them. itz just that i love read the story about them if i let it few years more, maybe the story cant be written as sweet as now.  =) =) =)

she has the fewest photo in my phone either in my ipad. susah nak culik tangkap gambar. 

lepas ni mungkin kena culik banyak sikit. heeee..

sebabkan nama kami hampir sama 

norlina=norliza

so, memang selalu la bila bahagi partner n kumpulan kita akan bersama.

twin gituuu..

she was a calmest person that i have ever met

which sometimes i wish i can be calm like her

she was one of strongest person that i have ever known

which make me sometimes, quietly without her or anyone knowing, i'll try to borrow some of her strength

she was one of the person that can keep her feeling deep inside her heart

which sometimes i feel that i'm not a good friend when i cant see the darkness inside her eyes.

thank you for always listen to my annoying stories.

thank you for always smile with my childish behavior

thank you for always patient with me when working with me

thank you for always give ur hand anytime when i need a help

but thank you in the first place for being a good n kind friend to me

sometimes u dont need 1001 comforting words.

what u need is only 1 words at the right time itz heals.

time heals but there are also something that really needs a lot of time to heal.

but with some words it accelerate the healing.

sometimes u are come out with 1001 comforting words.

but sometimes actually there are words that u want to hear from any person

which in the end maybe u still didnt get it

"sometimes 1000 words also cannot describe the heart. sometimes u miss someone that u can talk to soo much until when that person already in front of u but u suddenly become speechless. why? because u try to fill the short time left with the words that can describe all the feeling."